14

You’re going to be 14 soon

And you are becoming a beautiful young woman

Your face is getting more defined

Your lips are becoming fuller

Your body…

Oh, sweetie, your body

What is it about your body?

What is it about your growing body

that makes people so uncomfortable?

You’re going to be 14 soon

and you can’t wear your favorite shirt anymore

They told you it was just “too tight”

though it falls loosely around your stomach

You're going to be 14 soon

and that dress has got to go

You've grown so much, it’s just “too short”

Too wrapped around your ever-growing hips

Too much of a warm embrace around your body

It’s just wrong

You’re going to be 14 soon

and you will be weary of wearing shorts out when it’s hot

Because your legs are now a public display of shamelessness

Because that extra inch defines whether or not you are worthy of pity

Because it will be night time when you come home

and you don’t want to be noticed

Your survival depends on going unnoticed

You’re going to be 14 soon

and you will start to develop a deaf hear

to the kind of men that seem to be defined as scum

but then are just shrugged off

“It is what it is”

You’re going to be 14 soon

and it will be about whether you are a saint or a sinner

An innocent or a nymphomaniac

A prude or a slut

There is no shade of grey for you,

beautiful young woman,

because you are not complex

You are not immensely intricate or interesting

You do not get to be large

You do not contain multitudes

You are this ever changing body

and the conversation will always be about what you do with it

You’ll be ruthlessly slandered

for your sexual choices

for your hemlines

for your necklines

But that dotted line

written up by a publicity company

that believes it to be a good idea

to use your body to sell their product

isn’t up for discussion

It’s not hypocrisy, young lady

There’s no wrong doing here, lil’ chick

This isn’t oppression, you bitch

There is no such thing as a patriarchy

Agridoce

Os anos esvaem-se diante dos meus olhos

Vejo-me

Aqui estou eu

formada

empregada

casada

mãe

feliz

Vejo cada cena

e em cada cena vejo o sorriso que falta

as palavras silenciadas

o choro que talvez nem venha

Mas não te esqueço

Os anos esvaem-se diante dos meus olhos

E vejo que em cada momento de felicidade

arde a picada ácida do adeus

Adeus, não estás por cá

Adeus, onde foste?

Adeus…

Por favor, volta.

Agora, a Deus pertences

Deste-me a maior dádiva da unidade

Juntaste as pontas do lençol com que se cobre a Realidade

Em tudo

A toda a hora

Em toda a parte

I may not be the prettiest girl

I may not be the prettiest girl in the room

I won’t have the shiniest hair

Or the most captivating smile

Or the most confident walk

There’s a chance I’m not

the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen

And I’m certainly not the thinnest

(and these I’m taking off the table as of now

so you won’t later try to pass

thoughtless pickup lines as compliments)

I may not be the prettiest girl in the room

and I don’t need you to think so

I want you to say

something substantial

Because I’m substantially made

from the substance of dreams

Earth below my feet

and head way up in the clouds

I see things

I feel things

Mostly, I listen

Even when nobody else would

So don’t small talk your way over

I’m not small

I’m big

I’m huge

I’m a substantial feather

made of nothingness

and I’m so light

Don’t come to me if you want

my smile to light up your world

My smile won’t cut it

if you won’t light it yourself

Don’t waste your time, my dear

I have none left to waste

because my schedule is booked

I’m thoroughly occupied by

stopping and smelling the roses

You should try it sometime

Don’t stare at me from across a room

Don’t expect me to know from

short lived meaningless glances

Don’t fixate

Come over and say what you have come to say

Come over and explain

the substance of your

shimmering gaze

Come over and talk

I won’t settle for less

I may not be the prettiest girl in the room

But I’m one of the few who know

the secret:

It doesn’t matter

I’m still human